By Dr. Gail Cloud
As the holidays are upon us, the question arises as to how we can prepare for the holiday emotionally as well as physically.
We all have early memories that shape us, especially with family. They aren’t all happy or easy memories, and we carry them with us, unintentionally, throughout our lives. Our job, as we become older and more autonomous, is to sort through them and choose which ones we wish to keep and build on, and which ones are painful, and we don’t want to continue in those old patterns.
By researching our old feelings now, and not waiting until the holiday is upon us, we can excavate, welcome, and even embrace them; even the ones that are difficult. We can set up times with our therapist, a good friend, someone or something you feel safe with to talk about and work with and through those old difficult feelings.
Even the word, family, can be triggering for many. Those who lost family members young, those who experienced painful sibling memories or parental memories where we were abused, or felt unseen or unloved, etc., which is most of us in some way, can find this to be a challenging time. Bring those memories up if you can so you can have an opportunity to be with them differently if possible. If not, then you can have time to strategize how you want to handle this occasion. Do you want or need distance in some way? How can you make that happen? Do you just need to distance emotionally?
Do you need to not be with family this time, this year, and give yourself permission to have that space.
Do you want to be with friends? Do you choose to have the time alone, or with a person or animal family you feel close to?
Take the time and explore what comes up for you. You will be glad you did, and then you can make new memories for your future.
If you would like assistance with this process, please reach out and set up a session. Just call 314-995-9755, or email: gail@bodypresencing.com. And again, my book, Therapist’s Daughter is available to purchase through my website, www.bodyprresencing.com., with a journal guide to navigating what comes up for you, or at Amazon or even Barnes and Noble online.
Gail Cloud, D.C.
Healing the Root of the Matter
BodyPresencing; be-ing through presence