The Bolinger Family
Miles (8), Donovan (6), and Eleanor (3)
Homeschoolers
Q. Have you always wanted to homeschool and why homeschool?
A. No, my husband and I both went to public school. I was pregnant with my third child when my husband brought up the idea of homeschooling and I FREAKED out on him. I did the typical, “Easy for you to say, you will be at work every day, I will be the one juggling all of those extra responsibilities” and I SHUT IT DOWN.
But I will admit, he did plant a seed that day.
I didn’t really think much more about it until after our third child was born. When my husband brought it up originally, I was hormonal, tired, stressed to the max, and genuinely unsure of how I was going to keep 3 kids under five alive, let alone be solely responsible for their education. But after my daughter was born and the dust settled, I realized that I had hit a new threshold in my parenting and that I was once again capable of looking at how to thrive in life with three kids instead of just surviving.
So, I started researching what homeschooling entailed, what the requirements for our state were, where to get started, and if it was something I could realistically incorporate into our lives. I used those many hours of nursing an infant, rocking her to sleep at night, and clinging to those precious moments with a newborn to find out what all of my options were. After about six months of research, I was ready to give homeschooling the old college try.
Q. What are some healthy habits that you use with your children regarding school? What kind of an outcome do you see with these habits?
A. We have a daily rhythm we follow, our children wake, get dressed, brush their teeth and head downstairs for breakfast and to feed the dog. They take their vitamins, eat breakfast, and the older two (8 and 6) begin their independent work while I clean up the kitchen. After that, our schedule for the day changes depending on what we have going on that day. My kids know their responsibilities each morning and know that most of the time (an exception of a vacation or holiday) they have their small amount of work to start with before getting to anything else. It is the same in the evenings, we have dinner together as a family every night, with the exception of a special event or game, but we try not to let those take over our schedule. After dinner, or any meal they know they are to take their dishes to the sink and when the last person is done eating, they spray and wipe down the kitchen table. After this their time is their own until 7:30 rolls around. At 7:30 our bedtime routine begins where they take a shower or bath, brush their teeth, we read books together (my oldest reads some to us and we always read to them) and then we cuddle for a few minutes, and they go to bed. My oldest only reads for about 7-12 minutes but we read for 20-30 minutes every night. The reading we are doing at this point are books like the Chronicles of Narnia so it’s fun to watch them follow these stories night after night before drifting off to dreamland themselves.
I think our children knowing what is expected of them and what they can expect from the day is helpful in many ways. By knowing their responsibilities, it frees me up to focus on more and provides them with the ability to be independent which in turn builds confidence in them in those areas where they have been able to be successful without the help of others. I also think knowing what comes next gives any young child a better chance of transitioning well.
Q. What does your general daily routine look like regarding school.
A. With school it depends on the time of year. We choose to go to school year-round so that we can enjoy holidays or vacations without the pressure of schoolwork hanging over us. So, this means that our routine stays pretty regular 11 months out of the year. The homeschool year always starts on July 1st so we tend to take a sort of “summer break” in June every year. The kids are still learning and practicing their reading skills etc. but we don’t feel the pressure to do all of our subjects all of the time like we do the rest of the year. During this time, we spend more time visiting with friends at the creek, exploring new parks and taking fun trips like camping. We also are involved with a homeschool enrichment program 8 months of the year, so every September through November and February through April we have cottage school on Mondays and Farm School on Wednesdays. That means that our “home specific” work happens on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. I will also add that we are big believers in fostering the mindset that learning is always happening and that it’s not restricted to a classroom or school year.
Q. Tell me more about Homeschool with integrity.
A. Integrity, A School of Character is the business I founded and currently direct. It is a homeschool enrichment program that exists to enrich the lives of homeschooling families who see the value and beauty of schooling at home but also see the unique advantages collaborative learning can provide. When I was on the fence about homeschooling, I ran through the gambit of the “what abouts” of homeschooling just like everyone else does. What about peer relationships, what about learning from others, what about socialization? I saw the benefits homeschooling could offer such as an individualized education, but I was fearful of the holes I may be leaving in my child’s education and wellbeing.
I continued my research, now down the rabbit hole of homeschool co-ops, hybrid schools, enrichment programs and everything in between. I ended up finding several options within the St. Louis area but at the time of that research, I was still working part time outside of the home as a director for a horseback riding ranch and I specifically needed a place for my older kids to go where they were still learning on the days I worked part time, and so I created and launched my first enrichment program, called Ranch School. This program was at the ranch I was working at and our students spent their entire day outside learning about the natural world around them and building relationships with their peers and teachers.
That was another piece I felt very passionate about, my children building relationships with other adults outside of my husband and I. As someone who has been teaching horseback riding lessons since I was 13 years old, I knew the benefit of children having other adults (who they weren’t related to) investing in their lives. For a child to have a safe space to feel valued, respected, and loved outside of their home is a true gift, I can say that from experience being that person for children (and adults for that matter) for the past 20 years and I hated the idea of my children potentially not having that.
After we piloted Ranch School successfully, we were slated to launch our first term in the spring of 2023, and we had a full roster and a team ready to go. But then, I felt God calling me elsewhere.
It was one of those moments in life where your head and your heart just don’t align. Logically, it made sense to stay where I was, continue with Ranch School and continue working for the Ranch. But, over the holiday break I had been offered another opportunity, one at another hybrid program, where my children had already been attending and I had already been doing the Marketing. I had originally planned on doing both, but when that was not an option, I was forced to make a choice between the program I co-owned and a program where I would only be a director. I struggled, because I knew that the new program was where God was calling me, but the human part of me was still tied to the ranch, those people and that program. While it didn’t make “worldly sense” for me to give up a program of my own, to invest myself into the success of another, I knew in my heart I was being called there for a reason.
So, I made my decision, and we canceled the spring term of Ranch School, closing the business and I left the ranch, a place that had been a huge part of my life for the past four years. It was hard, and bittersweet but I turned my attention forward to the task at hand.
Fast forward one month, and the new program ended up closing. I helped land that plane as smoothly as possible, ensuring all parties were served to the best of my ability, and while I could feel God using me in the weeks leading up to and following the close, I was asking Him daily, what was going on in my own personal life. Why did I need to leave everything I held dear to go there if it was all going to crumble within a month? What was all of that heartache even for?
While I received no answer, I took some time to focus on my family and heal from the loss of so much in such a short period of time, unsure of what my future would hold. Then one day, I could not get the word “character” off of my heart. I wasn’t sure why until I opened up my Bible for the day and the scripture that was in my face was Romans 5:3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
My spirit was stirred in that moment and the dream for Character School was born. I still yearned for a community for my homeschooling family. I wanted a space for my kids to develop positive friendships, to be exposed to and celebrate any differences among them, to glean wisdom and love from other adults who weren’t related to them, and to see peers and mentors living out a God-centered and intentional life and that is exactly what Integrity is.
We provide our families with opportunities that would be hard to replicate at home, such as public speaking, group learning, being taught by others, being poured into and loved on by others, and the social and emotional skills that are gained through long term relationships.
Q. What are some healthy routines your family engages in outside of school?
A. We love the outdoors, so we like to hike, bike ride, camp and travel.
Q. What are some foods that your children like? Do you think healthy foods are important in your child’s development?
A. I am very intentional about what my family eats. We focus on eating fresh whole foods, mostly organic, and try to stay as local as possible. We have a garden and grow vegetables and herbs; we heal our body as naturally as possible and try to be more proactive and preventative than reactive in our health. I believe that a huge part of that comes back to what we fuel our bodies with, especially children as they grow and change so rapidly. I have seen several times how poor diets change their behaviors, attitudes, sleep patterns and cognitive ability. We avoid artificial dyes and ingredients, preservatives and added sugar to the best of our ability. I would say we follow the 80/20 rule in this regard and do allow them to have a cupcake at a friend’s birthday party and for special occasions like that, but we don’t allow it on a regular basis because what we do in our regular daily routines is who we become, and we don’t want our family to become the “standard American” in that way. My children love avocado, broccoli, green beans, tomatoes, sourdough bread, bee bread, honey, yogurt, fruit of any kind, and all of the seafood. I love that they read labels and are aware of what they are putting into their bodies and always opt for making things fresh at home.
One last thing, when I mentioned above in the food area that we didn’t want to become the “standard American” regarding our diets and health, I will say that it’s the same thing for life across the board. I am not someone who settles for mediocre or surviving. While I understand that there will always be seasons of life, and it’s never going to always be rainbows and butterflies, I am always trying to be intentional about moving my family toward thriving. I think that while there is still hope in this world, there is also a lot of brokenness and sadness out there, and we all see some of the contributing factors to that sadness, such as poor diets, lack of movement, isolation, social media, financial stressors and more. I was raised living the standard American life, and while I may have turned out “okay”, I wanted more than okay for my future self and my family. That is what drives me to do all this hard work and to venture off into the unknown. It feels like my childrens lives are presented to me to steward for such a short time and during that time it is my job to equip them with skills that will prepare them for life and a time when they are mature enough to make decisions on their own about how to interact with it.