The Art Of Relating: What Kind of Love Do You Want?

Christine Kniffen

By Christine Kniffen, MSW, LCSW

Love is not supposed to make you feel bad, rejected, unhappy or stressed out. Period. Stop selling yourself short.


  • Supportive – supports your endeavors and wants to see you grow as a person.
  • Validating – your partner validates your feelings as logical (different from always agreeing with them).
  • Communicative – willing to talk things out, even if hard at first, to resolve issues and move forward.
  • Feelings of Well-Being – You feel secure, loved, happy and able to focus on you.
  • Self-esteem – Your self-esteem has room to grow in a healthy relationship.
  • Your Partner – he or she knows they want to be in a committed relationship and have no trouble clearly relaying this to you through words and actions.


  • Continuously Unsupportive – offers no encouragement or even resists most of your endeavors towards personal growth and improvement, often driven by their insecurity.
  • Non-Validating – your partner seems unable or unwilling to try to understand your feelings.
  • Resists Communication – becomes defensive, dismissive or repeatedly states, “I don’t know” to seemly simple questions regarding his or her feelings.
  • Feelings of Anxiety/Stress – walking on eggshells (holding your feelings back), exhausted from overly focusing on the state of your relationship.
  • Low Self-esteem – You feel rejected. Your self-esteem is repeatedly chipped away when you stay in something that is unhealthy.
  • Your Partner – he or she avoids the “commitment issue”, never bringing up the future. The “I love you” statements are far and few between. Worse yet, they can’t seem to decide if you are even the “right one” for them, but they want you around anyway.

Christine Kniffen, LCSW is a Relationship Coach & Therapist in private practice. Call today for your free consultation 314-374-8396 or visit www.ChristineKniffen.com. (insurance accepted).