By Jasmin Acosta, Healthy Planet Staff Writer
Healing is a continuous journey with no definitive endpoint with many possible paths along the way. Each of our paths are uniquely shaped based on our individual experiences. At times, in our pursuit to heal, we unknowingly slip into self-isolation where we pull away from others not out of strength, but out of fear. We confuse self-preservation with isolation in hopes of shielding ourselves from pain by building a wall around our heart.
When we have been hurt in the past it is natural to become cautious. In turn, we seek to heal and protect ourselves, but in doing so, we may develop avoidant tendencies as we begin to push people away out of fear of being hurt again. Rather than accepting a healthy relationship whether it is with a friend, family member, or partner we react with fear of all the ways that we could be hurt based on our past scars.
At times we may even convince ourselves that we have healed simply because we no longer feel pain. However, that numbness is not healing, it is emotional detachment from the people around us. On our healing journey we often train ourselves not to feel out of desperation to protect ourselves from any possibility of being hurt again.
Over time we might even begin to only trust ourselves and we view others as potential threats. Although in moments of doubt, we may even lose trust in ourselves, afraid of repeating past mistakes or misjudgments that led to betrayal or loss.
But all these hurdles are part of the journey. Healing was never meant to be linear, but the first step is recognizing our avoidant patterns. Then choosing at our own pace to rebuild trust and form healthy connections with the people we choose.
Healing does not require rushing; it requires intention. It is about learning to be present with others, enjoying relationships for what they are rather than fearing what they might become. Not every connection will last forever, and that is part of the beauty. Some people are meant to walk with us for a moment, while others may stay for a lifetime. When we release the fear of endings, we create space to fully embrace the present and that is where the true healing happens.