By Jean Ponzi
I love this perspective, this world view. It felt akin, from my earliest encounters with this Indigenous way of relating to . . . plants, animals, places, traditions and, of course, others in my own species.
I met All My Relations as a young woman: strong and zippy in my 20s, ready to go and open to life. Though not yet focused. And averse to pretty much anything that called for practice.
Coming from a culture I describe as Sturdy Peasant Stock: ordinary people, working away, striving to be our best, according to a certain set of guidelines. My people lived by the rules of one very broadly adhered-to human cultural story.
But not the only story, or culture, or set of rules.
As I hit the limits of my origins, my scope of relating in life that far, I searched for ways to Be, with room to Grow. All My Relations opened a path of appreciative purpose, with Beauty all around. Hooray!
All My Relations spoke to (young, semi-oblivious) me because I’m one who learns through the lens, the reflection, the experience of Relating. More than Doing, or Making, or Moving Around or Formulating. So many ways we humans learn!
My childhood play was all relational dramas, with troll dolls, Barbies, a gang of little rubber animals led by a dragon named Grundoon – even our family bag of marbles, where the scarlet Clearie was the princess, the big clear Shooter was her father the king, and the Steelie’s role as her princely swain led all the Cat-Eyes into action. Love and adventure played out in houses I built from pillows, Tinker Toys, front-closet umbrellas, and (my favorite) a box full of many-colored sample glass tiles.
Homo sapiens is known for composing our stories and for imposing some sets of story-rules on others, as if they were the only way.
Ideas like Only and Best are ways our kind has configured to entrench superiority, to climb (succeed) or fall in an up/down way of ordering life. It’s an uber-limited (frankly, dumb) world view: if I’m going to flourish, you must be deprived. Fooey!
There are other ways to learn that generously appreciate both decline and increase, as each other’s dancing partners. When All My Relations fancy-danced up to me, I recognized a partner I could step and turn with, all through life.
I dance in this space with care, because All My Relations comes from cultures my origins have profoundly wronged. Yet the world view is offered, open-hearted, to all. Joining this dance is a humbling practice: move with respect, in grace and gratitude. Yes, please. Thanks, thanks.
Our family marbles are still with me, though today I mostly play with words. Relating is a funny idea from its Latin roots in English speaking: relatus, which means “to carry back, refer to.” Nothing too appealing, dusty old burdens and comparisons. Been there, done that, so Roman Empire.
But look to Relating’s close linguistic relative, Kin, and relationships blossom like a pollinator-haven prairie landscape. My trusty Dictionary of Word Origins says Kin is the central English member of the Germanic branch of a vast family of words that trace their ancestry back into pre-historic Indo-European mists. Zowie!
Kin’s relationships include produce, gender, general, generate, genital, nature, gonorrhea (I’m not making this up), sex, family, king, kindred and KIND, my favorite. And a practice for sure.
I’m an elder woman now. Still strong and zippy, multiple decades further along. Still attuned for options with room to Grow.
Grow? Hah! Careful what you ask for.
Recently it occurred to me that All My Relations means, literally, ALL My Relations. Not just the happy, bug-and-tree fun ones. Including those to whom I’d like to give a good, swift poke in the snoot. Whoa!
I need more practice.
Jean Ponzi is an Eco-Logical advocate, educating from the EarthWays Center of Missouri Botanical Garden and her interview show Earthworms, a longtime offering via KDHX. Learn about All My Relations in the writings and talks of Robin Wall Kimmerer. She is a strong, joyful starting point.