We Never Stop Working On Ourselves

Dr Gail Cloud

By Dr. Gail Cloud, D.C.

I often have patients ask me when the work on themselves will end.

My answer is: it never does. It gets easier, and we recover more quickly when triggered or upset, but the work never ends. We certainly have times when we rest, and we coast a bit. But, we also have times when we are less challenged in life. And yes, the work never stops.

To my way of thinking, that is a good thing. When we think about it, the majority of our minds are unconscious. Every cell in our body holds memories, and most of them are unavailable to us from day to day. So if we agree to take it, our job is to shed more light into our unconscious, a little at a time.

An example of this is personal. I was working with a patient recently, and suddenly when I didn’t expect it, I felt I was being spoken to in a very belittling way by my patient. I felt like I was being made fun of. Instantly I reacted by telling him/her that I would not be spoken to like that, ever. I then said that I was leaving the room to reset and I would be right back. About 2 minutes later, I did just that; when I came back in, I started over with even saying, “Hello, and how are you feeling today?” We then went on and began fresh. I got triggered and then recovered very quickly. It reminded me of when I was a child, and my father used to make fun of my mother and how uncomfortable that made me feel. Then later, my first major boyfriend did the same to me, and I used to feel miserable and shut down. It was then that I had decided that I would never allow anyone to speak with me like that again.

It is one thing to respond and say something like, “ Do not speak to me in that manner. That is demeaning to me.” It is another thing to respond instantly, feeling charged, and to demand that they never speak to them that way again. So the first example is communication, and the second is more like a triggered response. When I quickly realized how I responded, I could return and turn it into a learning lesson for my patient and me.

So, yes, the work never ends, which is a good thing. It helps us grow and be more conscious and kinder to ourselves and others. 

When you get tired of working on yourself, that’s ok, but please, don’t be hard on yourself and think you should have done all your work by now.

That is genuinely not possible, not in one lifetime.

To schedule a session of BodyPresencing with Dr. Gail, where we learn how to be in our bodies and discover what lies within, call: 314-995-9755, or email me at: gail@bodypresencing.com www.bodypresencing.com And take a look at a new class I am offering: BodyPresencing .