It’s Usually Not About You

Gail Cloud

Gail Cloud, D.C.

Healing the Root of the Matter

BodyPresencing; be-ing through presence

What a year it is! In times like these, it is so easy for us to take ourselves too seriously and take things personally. Most of us are more sensitive to others and their moods than we give ourselves credit for. We pick up on the tone of words, the body language, and the facial expressions of others. It is so important for us to watch out that we don’t automatically or reflexively make them about us.

I could say this in a not-so-kind way and say, “Get over yourselves.” I don’t know if you have noticed, but sometimes in choosing our words so carefully so that we don’t hurt others, we can be too “nice.” And when we at times just bluntly say the truth, it can sound quite rude and even mean to others even though we don’t mean it that way. Yet, at times, when we do say things just straight out, it has more of an effect than being too nice. There is a shock effect and times when we do need to be shocked out of our complacency. Complacency is one of staying in our familiar zone of feeling, even if it is not comfortable. How many times do we feel sad, and we just want to stay sad, even though the original purpose of sadness has passed? Sadness is a critical phase to go through. Things happen that are just plain sad.

Learning new difficult things about ourselves can also bring out sadness. But, staying in that state is something else….it serves a different purpose. Maybe it serves the little part of us that is unintegrated, severely hurt as a child, and victimized. We see the world through those young eyes when we stay in that state or keep re-visiting it without linking these young feelings to the present. We become wedded to that identity or sense of self and often go through the world feeling like a sad victim. When we do things like that, we have no choice but to interpret words and gestures from others as if they are ours and make them about us.

The shock of saying something like, “Get over yourself, this isn’t about you,” can at times help free us from the chains of those familiar feelings of being sad, or angry, or even scared that we identify with.

If we can notice when we fall into this complacent trap of making things about us when they aren’t, at least it is clear when we can look at it with present eyes, we can “catch” ourselves in the act. Some people call this stepping into the observer’s eyes instead of being stuck in the muck of a familiar past wound that rules us. 

At times we just have to keep practicing this. For example: when we hear and feel something coming from others which we usually tend to take personally, we instead say to ourselves, “Get over yourself, this isn’t about you,” even when we don’t feel like doing that. We are actively changing an old pattern that served us at one time but no longer does. We step out of our habitual pattern of sadness or feeling the victim. What ends up happening is that we slowly begin to feel better about ourselves. And not only that, we react to others very differently and become much better listeners, and maybe, just maybe, find ourselves making different choices and being more available to us and others!

So in a loving spirit, let’s “get over ourselves,” especially during this sensitive period of time.

Yours in guiding you to create your happiness, health, vitality in this ever-changing world.


To make an appointment for Evolutionary Astrology, Medical Astrology, Inherited Family Trauma Sessions, and Chiropractic, email: gail@bodypresencing.com, or call 314-995-9755.