By Vera Gabliani, Ph.D.
In these times of rapid changes, uncertainty and heightened fear, many parents worry about how they can help their children to feel safe and secure. One important way of supporting your children is knowing how to create a space of calm and safety.
Much like when your child was younger and you would hold them close and rock them till they quieted, so too your deliberate choice to calm yourself whenever you or they are feeling distressed will create this zone of safety for you all.
Knowing how to unplug from the world and the constant barrage of information, so much of it fear-based, is a powerful skill that can be modeled for your child. The key is in realizing that your mind is the center point of this turmoil as your over-stimulated brain and then your body gets stuck in the “React mode.” Learning to pause the mind in order to re-center is the way to maintain calm in the midst of it all.
One of the most effective ways to access a peaceful state comes from the Institute of HeartMath ™. This group has been researching the power of deliberately connecting in with heart-based emotions to soothe the arousal centers in the brain and body. Here’s how you do it. Place your hand over your heart, take a couple of slow breaths, exhale out tension, and refocus your mind on something that generates a feeling of gratitude or love.
This could be something beautiful in nature like a sunset, a loved one’s face, or perhaps the memory of cuddling with a pet. As you breathe and focus on this image and feelings of love and gratitude you naturally shift your brain into a state of “safe” and your body will start to relax. With a bit of practice, you will be able to call upon this image and automatically begin to regain a more peaceful state as the connection between your relaxation centers of the brain and body are strengthened.
Just as fear and agitation are contagious, so too is peace and you will be providing your child the space in which to regain a sense of safety and security.
Dr. Vera Gabliani has over 20 years of experience in teaching and empowering her clients. She looks forward to talking with you and can be reached at (314) 966-0880.