A Word To The Wise: The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

With Kate Schroeder, M.Ed, LPC, NCC

The holidays are officially upon us, and if you’re like most people, you are riding them out with mixed feelings, vacillating between anticipation and dread as you hustle off to the next party or family commitment, wondering how you will sit through one more minute of small talk, stress, or family feud without combusting into a million pieces. You might be wondering how you will manage to keep a smile on your face, when all the while you dream of being at home, tucked away from all the expectations that abound at this time of the year.

We all have an image in our mind of what the “perfect holiday” will look like, complete with foods, people, gifts, baked goods, songs around the fire, and warm embraces from those we love. And no matter what promises we’ve made to ourselves before to do it differently, we engage in the holidays each year, determined that this will be the year that we get it done right. However, despite our best efforts to control the world around us, reality rarely measures up to our own internal image of bliss, but often falls short, evidenced by frustration which comes out in angry words or silent seething, stress, over-eating, over-drinking, and for many, finally succumbing into defeat and simply just trying to “get through” the holidays.

The dilemma around all of this stems from the fact that as long as we continue to engage in our present day lives, determined to make up for all the hurts, disappointments, and ruined holidays from early on, we set ourselves up for continual failure and disappointment in the here and now. In this manner, we carry with us all the expectations of a wounded child still looking for something outside of us to sooth the distress that we carry deep within. And no matter how hard we work to achieve happiness or fulfillment, as long as we continue to look outside of ourselves for this, we will always end up short of these goals. It is like chasing a shadow that is always moving just beyond our reach.
The answer to this is simple but not easy. In order to find peace and happiness, we have to address the trauma leftover from childhood in order to be able to meet the world in a realistic manner, with realistic expectations, and an internal stability that is untouchable by the chaos in the outside world around us. This is not an easy task, and many choose not to begin this healing work, but instead continue in the same behaviors and choices that keep them in a loop of disappointment or despair. But for those who decide to begin the hard work to recover and rebirth their wise and beautiful soul child inside, the rewards are immense. And what a wonderful gift this would be to give to your self during this holiday season of reflection and celebration.

For more information on guided imageries, meditations, and programs visit Kate at: www.kateschroederlpc.com/store.html.

You can contact Kate at:
Transformation Counseling, LLC
8084 Watson Road, Suite 226
Saint Louis, MO 63119
(314) 761-5310