I’ve Got Mail
Everyone loves to get mail. There is a psychological connection between the mail we get and our self worth. The more mail you get, the more you are loved or are some sort of VIP. There is nothing more exciting than coming home and opening up the mail box and seeing a letter from a friend or relative. And then came Email. It is certainly correct to say that Email has hurt the Post Office’s bottom line. And their bottom line was already at the bottom of the bottom. As a business owner I love to get mail at the office because our mail carrier Carol brings me checks. She actually feels bad when she brings me bills and no checks. I am always glad to see Carol no matter what she brings. She is a testament to the U.S. Postal Service. She is on time and very friendly. Not all the postal carriers over the years have been so. But Carol is the cream of the crop in my eyes. And then came Email. Every morning I come into work and boot up my email and over 1000 pieces of electronic mail wait to be read, downloaded or deleted. Oh, I have a spam folder which catches many of the unwanted characters but much of it just passes through the filter like mosquitoes through an old rusty porch screen. Let me give you a taste of what’s on my email menu today. 1) I can get a hot air balloon ride for only $189, reg. $399. 2) Weird Wine Lowers Blood Pressure … but you have to subscribe to the newsletter to find out which wine it is of course. 3) I got another email from Victoria’s Secret. I swear, it’s for my wife. 4) Apparently it’s “my big chance” to make millions at some sort of business venture. Good thing I am tapped out. 5) I can buy a book to help me Decipher my Dreams. Problem is I always fall asleep when I read. That’s a bit of a conundrum. 6) Apparently a company called “BooginHead” can help me with my problems with my small children. I could have used that before my daughters got into their 20s. I wonder if BooginHead brews craft beer? 7) Someone wants to buy my Timeshare. 8) A guy named Joel sent me an email with a new “Sweet Tooth” diet. Really, Sweet Tooth Diet. Moving on. 9) From the New England Journal of Medicine: “Oral GS-5806 Activity in a Respiratory Syncytial Virus Challenge Study.” Whoa, way past my pay grade. 10) Yes, I got the Viagra email and the Canadian Drugs email, too. I suppose I get more emails than the normal business since I am in the media. But I never feel more important when I get more emails. I do enjoy correspondence from my friends and clients. If I scroll down a few hundred emails I am sure I can find one from a friend. Oh, here’s one “Are you playing golf Sunday?.” I have to send regrets since my wife Niki is having back surgery Friday. I have to be around to make her grilled cheese as she recovers this weekend. Keep her in your thoughts. Send some healing vibes her way. But I am just warning you, if you send an email, I can’t guarantee I will read it right away. I have to wade through this week’s “Coupon Deals” first.
I want to invite all of you to our 28th Natural Living Expo on September 28 in Webster Groves. We have a great line-up of exhibitors and we will have 500 free reusable tote bags to hand out, as well as Chipotle gift cards. You can also win a trip to Trout Lodge YMCA of the Ozarks and some Amtrak train tickets. And how about some wine, craft beer and food samples. Enjoy free health screenings and chair massages. See page 5 for more details!
See you at the Expo! J.B. Lester; Publisher