J.B. Lester; Publisher
I have been married to my wife Niki for 20 years. And yes, guys, I am going to do the romantic thing and off we go for Valentine’s day to a secret location where the wine flows and fireplace crackles. And I am looking forward to getting away with my sweetheart. But I too take marriage for granted. How many of us guys think we are romantic while our wives or girlfriends would beg to differ. I am sure that “romantic” is in the eye of the beholder. In our defense, why does the man have to be “the romantic one”? Seems to me that only leaves the women folk setting themselves up for disappointment. Romance is not really something that men are hardwired with. We have our moments (and I do mean moments). But for the most part, men are all about comfort. Romance takes effort, forethought and planning. Remember these are the same guys who just drive off and don’t ask directions and usually end up getting lost. Even if we have a road map for romance, there is a good chance we will end up in a ditch. Hey, am I being stereotypical with my brethren? I know there are some of you out there reading this, saying “Hey, I am not like that. I am romantic? He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Okay, go ask your wife if she thinks you are romantic. But be prepared for a dose of reality. Women and men just look at romance differently. The standard is set too high for men really. And what if men were romantic more often? It would then become commonplace and not as much fun when we do finally get the message and break out the flowers, candy and compliments. Those little hugs and kisses aren’t enough. And sex, well to hear women tell you, sex is not romance. All right, men, show of hands, how many of you think sex is romantic? Hmmmm. About 100 percent of you. Women, how many of you think sex is romantic? Hmmmm. About half of you. You see, there is the problem. Is romance the trip or the destination? Truth is guys, it is both. And there is no way we will convince them otherwise. Actually men like foreplay and romance. They may not admit it, but men can be very playful and cuddly. So long as there is some light at the end of the tunnel we are okay with the trip down hold-my-hand lane. And we are okay with “just talking” so long as “just talking” turns to “pillow talking”. Hey, it was good enough for Doris Day. And she was in so many great old “Romantic” movies. I am actually glad that women demand romance out of us. We have it in us, but it is hard to squeeze it out between sports on t.v. and that afternoon nap. Women may demand more than we can give, but they will settle for what we are smart enough to offer. And fellas, you better make a note that Valentine’s Day is coming up and I suggest you start making your plans now. Because even if you think she doesn’t care about flowers, candy, hugs and anything else that seems romantically trite, she does care. Just like for most men there is no such thing as “bad sex”, you better believe there is no such thing for women as “bad romance.” Any sign of romantic life is better than nothing. We all love romance. That is what got us all here. But there remains a different definition between the sexes. As far as I am concerned it will never be figured out or equally understood. That is what makes us opposites, and you know what they say about opposites!
Hey, two weeks after you surprise your sweetheart with some Valentine’s romance, make sure you stop by the Healthy Planet Expo, Feb. 28 in Webster Groves. Checkout all the info on pages 4&5. See you there!
Romantically Yours, J.B. Lester; Publisher