Tools For Loving Yourself

By Shiela Fazio, Holistic Therapist

We all can feel bogged down by our perception of being judged as less than perfect. Sometimes we feel it comes from strangers, family members, in-laws and co-workers but the most damaging judgments are those that come from inside.  Our deepest fears of inadequacy, loneliness, and disconnection lead to a drive to be perfect which can exhaust our physical health and our relationships. The fear of sharing our vulnerabilities and telling false truths to keep everyone off our back denies our basic need of integrity.

As a bodyworker, yoga teacher and counselor I have the privilege of working with clients who have a deep desire to be free of physical and emotional pain, to release the fears that keep them stuck or from moving aimlessly, who desperately want to be able to say no without worrying about if people will still like them or understand.  A key component to my own capacity to stay grounded as a mother, teacher, therapist and wife is my daily practice that moves me OUT OF FEAR and into a state of LOVE and GRATITUDE.

Here are a few techniques to get you started.    Find a place in your home that is quiet and make it sacred for your practices of self healing.  Sit still, even for just 5 minutes. Notice your body, feel your breath and set an intention to ground and feel steady.   Begin to witness the thoughts that are moving through your awareness.  In time the capacity to observe thoughts without following the storylines will grow.  This is a fundamental lesson in yoga.  Once we realize that we are not our thoughts we can unhook from our painful stories, take action when needed and trust the inner wisdom that unfolds.  For some stillness is too painful. Chanting, singing prayers and free movement can be more helpful in the beginning.  Lastly, when you lie down for bed, place your palms comfortably on your body, preferably one hand on your heart and other on your belly.  Take 5-10 deep breaths and visualize love or rose colored light seeping into every part of your being, including your physical body, breath, emotions, thoughts and soul.  On your exhale let go of all physical and emotional toxins.  Then sink in to a state of relaxation, feel the breath get quiet and smooth. Grow a feeling of gratitude in the heart.   It can be helpful to recall an image of someone you find easy to love.  After several minutes send love to every part of your body.

Remember that when our being feels deeply loved and cared for we heal and our best self arises.  As Maslow says, “We can’t give what we don’t have” so turn inward, give yourself the love and approval it seeks outwardly.  Positive self talk, quiet time, nurturing friendships and community are good for us all!

If you are interested in Holistic Mental Health Counseling, Cranial Sacral Therapy, Reiki and/or Yoga please visit out website at rootsofwellness.com for more information or call Sheila Fazio at 314-276-2886.