First, it is important that you like someone that you are with because you have much better odds of it lasting. In the old days, couples stayed together because of the stigma of divorce, as well as for the sake of the children. In today’s society, as we have seen by the ever-increasing divorce rate, people are just not willing to spend their prime years in an unhappy relationship. And, whether anyone likes it or not, the research does not support staying together for the sake of the kids if there is unresolved fighting and animosity towards each other. I have written many times about the damage this inflicts on children, so enough said. Therefore, actually liking each other makes one much more motivated to work out the differences for the sake of the relationship. More importantly, if you actually like each other, you likely have many more values in common and that always provides a solid foundation from which the relationship can flourish and grow.

The second reason that it is important to like the person that you love is that you have a better probability that you will like his or her friends. I’ve seen plenty of problematic relationships where one partner doesn’t like any of their partner’s friends. This is not a positive sign. More than likely if you don’t like someone, it is because you have big value conflicts with that person and disagree with the way they act or behave. People have a pretty difficult time working through this conflict if it applies to multiple friends with which you have issues. It’s one thing to have to be around somebody’s family that you don’t like. Most people know that they have to give somewhat in this area. After all, it’s still the other person’s family. But, adding a bunch of friends that you don’t like to the mix provides a pretty big obstacle. Many people choose their friends based on having similar values as to what seems right and wrong, etc. Like people tend to attract each other and often hangout as friends. So, if you don’t actually like the person you are with there is a pretty good chance you will not like the company that they keep either. You can tell a lot by the class and character of friends that someone keeps. That’s not some old-fashioned notion. It is often the truth.

Lastly, it is important that you like the person that you love because it is just a whole lot more fun. Relationships should defiantly have a fun, playful side to them. Yes, we are all born with varied degrees of seriousness built into our personalities. But, the couple that has fun together has a lot more happiness together. I can’t tell you the number of times I have had women come into my office upset by the way they are being treated in their current relationship. I ask, “Why do you stay?” The only justification they can give is to repeat, over and over, “But I love him”. Loving someone is not an excuse for staying in a relationship that makes you feel bad about yourself. You really can’t like someone who is treating you poorly. When you do actually like the person you are with it is a fantastic experience. We insist upon so many things in life when it comes to that which is other than our personal relationships. Why don’t we insist upon more from our romantic relationships? Remember, you want a relationship. You don’t need a relationship. Keep that in mind and you just might hold out for the real deal and end up with a great friend and much sweeter times with your partner.