by Jean Ponzi
Becoming a Lover
As a bold young woman coming of age in the 20th Century’s Autumn Years, when our society offered a fairly intelligent middle-class babe like myself unprecedented access to diverse adventurous options, I defined for myself (with the kind of bravado that a bold young person so keenly feels) some sweeping Life Goals.
One of the goals I set for my life was to Become A Great Lover.
And I very deliberately further defined this intention as being One Who Loves.
I like to deal with the heart of the matter and leave myself a lot of options.
Now a notable feature of self-direction, especially when one truly works the idea (which I do, through many adventurous means, with a host of thrilling, creative companions), is that our goals really do take root. In heart, and soul, and personal process. And they bloom in meta-manifestations and in our most subtle, secret innards.
One becomes the Self envisioned and sought-for. So your goal had darn well better be good.
Being A Lover, in my youth, was a piece of double-chocolate cake. Of course there was plenty of angst and drama. That’s a young person’s thang. As engrossed as I was in relational la-la, I kept my (sometimes fuzzy) focus true to my self-appointed goal – and was blessed with guidance to grow and change beyond romantic day-to-dayness.
I grew to the point where I said to myself “I am ready and I want TRUE LOVE.” And the human being arrived in my life whom I truly believe is the mate to my soul. This is no small cheese. And it means, for me, meshing my needs and ambitions to dance through every set of life’s numbers – whatever the rhythm, whatever the tune – with my chosen partner.
You betcha, I could go it alone. I have before and I could again, but the Way of Living Together, I deeply believe, is a task at hand so needed to help evolve my species – us humans! – beyond our Me-First, Rugged Individualist, Cowboy-Against-The World orientation that is one big honkin’ factor keeping us so painfully, destructively feeling and acting separate from the glorious bounty of most of Earth’s inter-dependant communities – which aren’t faring too well “against” us, have you noticed?
So my commitment to True Love, working/playing together with fellow humans – my best beloved and quite a few others – has fused with the love that has become my profession, my vocation, and a Great Love in my life: Love for Earth and All My Relations.
It’s funny how these ever-lovin’ dots connect together. And – who knows? – if I keep telling and writing, I might be living a good Love Story.
Jean Ponzi loves to talk on the radio about Green Stuff – on “Earthworms” Mondays 7-8 p.m. on FM-88 KDHX, and Sunday afternoons at 1 on ‘Growing Green St. Louis” on the Big 550-AM KTRS.